Late Night Elsword
by ShadisticArchdevil
Summary: A collaboration between MarioFireRed and ShadisticArchdevil. See all the Elsword classes do stand-up comedy with a twist in each! Rated M for suggestive themes and crude humor.
1. Lord Knight

**Shadic: Oh boy, another collaboration. But this time I had the idea. So huzzah for creativity.**

**Fire: Why did I agree to do this?**

**Shadic: Because we have many terrible puns ready. **

**Fire: And many, many more people that will either laugh their butts off or groan at this XD! **

**Shadic: So this is going to be stand-up comedy, b/c the gore section is another story, literally. -ba dum tuss- **

**Fire: First a perverted arm now stand-up comedy. What's next? The Elgang watch Teletubbies?**

**Shadic: Hmmm, I'll write that down. Anyways, how is this going to work, you may ask. Well, we are doing each CLASS, and there will be two versions, clean and dirty. Fire and I will switch off, but for this one, I'll take Clean, and Fire gets dirty (not that kind of way mind you).**

**Fire: The class for this Chapter is Lord Knight, in case you didn't bother to read the Chapter Title.**

**Shadic: Now that all of that is established, let's begin!**

**Characters:**

**Clean Lord Knight - Vital Knight**

**Dirty Lord Knight - Destructive Knight**

**Aisha - Elemental Master**

**Rena - Grand Archer**

**Raven - Blade Master**

**Eve - Code Nemesis**

**Chung - Iron Paladin**

**Ara - Sakra Devanam**

**Elsa - Saber Knight**

* * *

_**Lord Knight's Act**_

"Hello? Is this thing turned on?" The Lord Knight cloaked with the aura of Vitality pondered as he tapped his microphones in the head a couple times.

"Heh, turned on. You were hoping for "it" to finally power up on it's own?" One of the bystanders, another Knight except bathed in a red aura of Destruction snicked, leading to the groaning of his counterpart upstage.

"Damn you, Destructive Knight. Who signed me up for this thing anyways, cause it sure as hell wasn't me or you" The Vital Knight responded to Destructive Knight's interesting remark.

"Blame Rena, she's the one who wanted us to do this for the people here in Ruben in order to bond with each other. Believe me I'd much prefer to "bond" with Aisha." Destructive winked at the Elemental Master next to him, causing the latter to shrug away his dirty comment.

"Oh really Destructive Knight? Well, wait, what are we doing again?" His eyes met the hundreds of audience members as sweat dripping off of his face.

"You're really clueless aren't you?" Destructive smacked his head with his palm. "We're doing stand-up comedy remember? I can't believe I actually agreed to let you go first." He stretched. "What do you want to do? Force everyone to leave at the first joke?"

"Okay, I know I'm bad, but am I really THAT bad? Whatever, guess it's time to make the obligatory joke about our most powerful move, Armageddon Blade." He smirked over to the DK and heard the audience laughing.

"Dirty minds think alike my friend. Now have at you so the rest of us can have a shot to actually make these guys laugh."

"Ugh, sometimes you're such a bag of douche. Hell, you can be two of 'em. Anyways. So many jokes are made about Arma Blade that it's like the 'That's what she said' jokes. Let me clear this up right now. If I was in bed with someone. I wouldn't shout ARMAGEDDON BLADE as soon as I got an erection. God damn, even Destructive wouldn't do that!"

"I totally would, isn't that right Eve?" He received a slap from the flustered stoic. "Okay y'know what I can't take this anymore!" Destructive stood up from his seat so abruptly it caused a sudden silence to fall upon the room. Casually removing Aisha from his grip, he walked on stage next to a confused Vital and snatched the microphone. "Maybe it's about time I finally get these people laughing."

"Are you implementing that I'm not funny?! They just laughed at my joke!" Vital hissed back at the remark.

"Yeah, a joke so overused it can be squeezed over and over like a lemon. The only difference is that lemons are tasty and the joke was just...ugh." Destructive smirked at Vital and cleared his throat. "Now where was I? Oh yes stand-up comedy. What's that other move we all love to hate, ah yes Rolling Smash. I can't believe I'm going back to the bed scenario, but we all toss and turn around in our beds right? Some more so than others, am I right? Anyway after we roll around a bit, a few of us might go "Smashing" with our little rods. Isn't that right Vital?"

"Wait, what? Smashing with rods? Destructive, you make no sense. That was a terrible joke."

"What are you talking about? Can't you go hear them laughing? Or are they all just thinking of how small a rod you have Vital." Destructive smiled even more.

"Oh I see what you mean. And you know what Destructive. Think a little. How would they all know how big my rod is?" Vital let out a smirk as the audience gasped.

"That's why they all laugh at how weak your Armor Break is Vital. Try to learn to power through your enemies like I do, that's why I get all the ladies!" Destructive's comeback gathered even more gasps and a few laughs.

"At least I have a Triple Geyser instead of your pathetic Flame Geyser!" Vital stuck out his tongue and made a 'Nyeh' noise aimed at Destructive.

"And like I said, it's better to fully please one girl with my one Geyser than disappoint three girls when you try it." Destructive countered.

"I see you've mastered your Counterattack. And please, my Unlimited Blade works wonders against your Assault Slash" Vital fought back.

"So no breaks huh? Bet those girls were mighty thirsty. It's a good thing they got a taste of my Spiral Blast! Isn't that right Aisha!" Destructive yelled across the room, dodging a fast-paced fireball from the aforementioned Elemental Master.

"B-BAKA! T-THEY DIDN'T N-NEED TO KNOW THAT!" The flustered tsundere shouted.

"Ohoho, what's this I hear? Aisha and Destructive? Hot damn. Well you heard it here first, and yes, I'm doing this just to piss Aisha off!" Vital smiled at the audience and they laughed. "HA! I MADE THEM LAUGH! WHAT NOW?!" Vital victoriously screeched.

"Yeah teasing Aisha is indeed hilarious, especially at how she admires my Strong Body and how much pain we can suppress during our fun times." The audience, especially Raven and Chung, laughed even harder. Destructive shut Vital's traps and smirked viciously, almost cocky.

"Oh hold on, my phone's ringing." He pulled out his El-phone and answered the call. "Hello? Vital Lord Knight speaking."

"ELSWORD! WHERE ARE YOU?!" He sighed heavily and let out a deep breath.

"I'm giving a comedian act at William's Bar, why?"

"GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW! THERE IS A SPIDER IN MY CLOSET AND I CAN'T USE MY SWORD INDOORS!"

"B-but sis, I'm-"

"NO EXCUSES!" Vital hung up and turned to Destructive.

"Oh so the only thing you do is your Sis huh Vital? I knew you were a Sis-con but not at this level." The room cannot contain the amount of laughter generated in it.

"Um, Destructive, I hate to burst your bubble, but she's your sister too..." The room burst even more.

"...So my siblings are seeing each other behind my back huh? At least I still have Aisha. She can take my Sandstorm of mayo and get past the blindness the white sticky stuff did to her, blinding her eyes and all."

"Y...YO...YOU!" Aisha gripped her wooden staff pretty tight (which in turn gave Raven and Chung massive hard ons) and charged up mana, storming towards the Destructive Knight with murderous intent. The audience at this rate can't decide whether to laugh themselves unconscious or enjoy the show.

"THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!" The Dirty Knight glowing in a red aura humorously bid farewell to his customers and dashed away, the Elemental Master chasing right after him hurtling fireballs and lightning bolts. And Vital scramming away from the scene to his enraged sister Elsa, who apparently was afraid of spiders.

"Well, Rena, so much for bonding, eh?"

* * *

**Shadic: So um, this is actually Fire and I competing with each other (He totally won) but yeah, anything to add Fire?**

**Fire: Well I can't believe I actually went through with this idea. I mean we literally made up the jokes as we went. Now all you people who want Power Shard and Red Stained can be quiet for (hopefully sooner) another week with this little thing!**


	2. Code Empress

**Shadic: "Fast" updating since Fire and I have plenty of ideas. Yes, we update this faster than Power Shard or Red Stained (which are finished btw). **

**Fire: To be honest, I'm only updating cause he said so XD!**

**Shadic: Shush, they didn't need to know that! o Ao**

**Fire: That's not the only thing they need to know...**

**Shadic: ANYWAYS, today we have Code Empress. The way it works this time (compliments to Fire for this idea) is that the clean version has Ophelia, and the dirty has Oberon.**

**Fire: XD I was kidding on my last statement. Plus of course Oberon would be more perverted than Ophelia, he works in close range and is usually heavily relied on by his mistress (sometimes more than just combat).**

**Shadic: No, we don't ship EvexOberon. Before anyone dares to ask.**

**Fire: Can we get started with the chapter already? This monologue alone is enough to eat like 300 words. Before I forget I'm taking the clean character this time, meaning Ophelia.**

**Shadic: I'll take dirty this time, lemon mode activate.**

**Classes:**

**Empress w/ Oberon (Dirty) (Eve)**

**Empress w/ Ophelia (Clean) (Apple)**

**Elsword- Lord Knight (overused ftw!)**

**Aisha - Void Princess**

**Rena - Grand Archer**

**Raven - Blade Master**

**Chung - Iron Paladin**

**Ara Haan - Sakra Devanam**

**Elsa - Pyro Knight**

_**Code Empress' Act**_

"No Ophelia, you may not join me in order to entertain our guests." Apple once again scolded her pleading maid in order to refrain her from joining.

"Oberon, where are you? I called for you to be here ON TIME!" Eve, the Code Empress screamed for her male assistant who was nowhere to be seen. The next moment, a man with a black visor came running out from backstage with a sword in his hand.

"What's this Mistress Eve?" Apple glanced down at the Nasod Queen, Ophelia giggling at her assistant's tardiness. "Your servant has to be more punctual at times like this, otherwise Oberon may cut up the surface for running too fast and cause more of a mess." She smiled genuinely.

"Apple, dear, I know you are trying to be polite, but I swear one day I'll- Oh crap! Was this thing on the entire time?!" Eve pounded the mic with her palm and looked nervously at the audience as a sweat drop formed on the back of her head. Apple giggled softly.

"Yes my Queen. Now won't you please help me with our act before you make an even bigger fool of yourself?" The Empress NPC smiled sweetly at the Nasod Queen, Ophelia nodding vigorously to support her master.

"I suppose so, so who shall start this act of comedy, you or I?" Eve glanced at Oberon, who was acting like a bodyguard to the mic. He was holding "it" close to his mouth, but luckily his visor was interrupting.

"I guess I shall start." Apple cleared her throat and thought up a few jokes. "How can Eve upgrade Oberon to be more efficient? Include a Charging Booster to boost his stamina better."

"Let me clear up something, just because Oberon has Protection as one of my skills, doesn't mean that we- well, you know" Eve turned slightly away from the audience to see Oberon with waterfall tears after they had laughed at him.

"Well if your Oberon has more compatibility with my Ophelia, we could use Assault Spear together to pierce through any guard your servant has on his own, or perhaps maybe you Milady." Ophelia nearly refrained from clamping Apple's mouth shut, the Empress NPC clearly enjoying her chance to mock her Queen after years of pent-up aggression in PvP.

"E-Excuse me?! I'll have you know that if Oberon got you caught in a Genocide Ripper, you would be pierced with his long blades in many different areas and positions!" Eve snapped back at the Princess, who was still smiling sweetly at the audience. Apple's fans, especially Chung, prepared their cameras just in case Eve's servant happens to "rip" the NPC's clothes.

"O-OI!" Ophelia complained in Apple's place, who's too busy trying to shield her body from Oberon. "My Princess would never be subjected to Oberon's slicing Space Wrench either. Don't you have any pride as a Queen, Eve?"

"If your little Princess hadn't brought up the matter, I'm sure none of this would've happened. So you will not tell me how to have pride. Especially since you shock everyone in many different places with your Electronic Field." Eve smirked as she returned the comment with a comeback.

"Elsword why the hell did you invite me to this?" Elsa complained within the audience, obviously not caring that her strong voice carries over to the mic.

"Sis...I already smashed that spider from last night with my Double Slash. The least you could do is suffer along with me during the acts of these morons." Elsword glanced amusingly at the others beside him.

"A-Ah! W-Wait!" Apple started panting as Ophelia strangled Oberon to death. "Ophelia would n-never to that to anyone! A-And what about before when the King was still alive. He...He'd use his Heaven Fist right inside you!" She sheepishly countered, earning lots of Moe points for her fans.

"Apple! Tell Ophelia to stop strangling my Oberon before I force her too! I still have Surface Cutting at my disposal!" Eve growled and turned to Apple, who was just as worried as she was. A light laugh could be heard from the audience as the fight between servants ensued.

"We're sorry for the technical difficulties. Please enjoy this clip of Reckless Fist dancing like a ballerina in a skirt while you wait." Blade Master told the audience as he played the clip. Reckless Fist was seen leaving the room, with an angered face.

Apple and Eve became pissed at Raven who not only caused Valak, the Reckless Fist, to leave the room but also steal their audience. "It's amazing how incredibly dim-witted humans are about their attention-spans. Ophelia use your Spitfire on him...but please be gentle." The Empress NPC pleaded her servant, blushing at the sight of Raven.

"Wait wha-" Raven stopped mid sentence to be hit by spitfire, knocking him over. "Ohhhh pretty lights~~" Raven mumbled as he opened his eyes. Eve laughed as Oberon teabagged his body.

"I believe we are done here." The two Nasods turned to each other and nodded with gleaming intent. "Oberon! Ophelia! Heaven's Fist! Hell's Fist!" Eve and Apple took turns shouting their attacks, both of King Nasod's hands bursting right in front of them and missed everyone within their vicinity (except for a poor Lord Knight who happened to be too caught up getting into Aisha's skirt to notice).

"Phew! Dude I swear we weren't going to make it out alive..." The Deadly Chaser, Chung, gasped for air after the place had been blown to bits by Valak's Nuclear.

"First we have Eve and Apple snap at us and now Valak?!" Rena facepalmed at the horrid sight as the aforementioned three escape the rubble relatively unharmed.

"Man, who's next?! I swear some of these days..." The Iron Paladin, Lacher, panted also as he leaned against his Destroyer for support from the dashing escape.

"I'm not sure Raven. Why not we discuss this back home with Elsword and-" The Void Princess Aisha paled and immediately hid behind a tree. "My skirt...is gone."

-Meanwhile back in the rubble...-

"YES I DID IT!" The crushed Lord Knight rubbed himself of the devilish girl's skirt, able that at least he gets to feel it before he passes out.

"Oh, shut up Lord Knight! Now use your boner blade or splash sand everywhere or something and get us outta here!" The Blade Master who had previously infuriated Valak, Edan, was laying headfirst in a pile of chairs.

**Fire: So...who won this time? I was Apple and Shadic was Eve.**

**Shadic: Oh man, totally not me. I sucked bad at this, but I'll totally win with Ravens and Renas. But we'll let the viewers decide (even though I didn't know this turned into a contest).**

**Fire: So even with the Clean version being handed to me I still win (according to us two authors). Anyway yeah here's another small act from us.**

**Shadic: Well, be sure to look out for Chapter 3! Not sure who it is yet, but we still promise horrible puns! Yeah, this is taking an intake on Saturday Night Live, so this story will most likely be updated on Weekends, if not Saturdays.**


	3. Iron PaladinPrincess

**Shadic: So I've had a constant losing streak against Fire. Well, today might be the day it changes, but if not today, then most certainly when BM comes into play. Speaking of Raven, I'm working on my Origins story again finally.**

**Fire: Also speaking of Raven, I believe that new story I have involving him should be up by this chapter.**

**Shadic: -cough- Yeah, anyways I also should have another story up by the end of this chapter.**

**Fire: Anyways for this chapter I'm the dirty character once again, so I'm Chung while Shadic is Lachette.**

**Shadic: Male and female intakes on Iron Paladin. Without further ado, here you go!**

**Classes:**

**Chung: Iron Paladin**

**Lachette: Iron Princess**

**Raven: Reckless Fist**

**Elsword: Infinity Sword**

**Rena: Wind Sneaker**

**Aisha: Dimension Witch**

**Eve: Code Nemesis**

* * *

_**Late Night Elsword**_

_**Chapter 3**_

_**Iron Paladin/Princess' Act**_

"E-excuse me? Is this the place where I am supposed to do my comedy act with someone named "Chung?" The silky blonde-haired girl with an hourglass shaped body asked the Reckless Fist, Raven, for confirmation upon her arrival.

"Of course, madam, right this way." He lead her into the backstage where Chung was getting ready. Make-up and all.

_I can't believe that last place we went to crumbled to the ground. Why did the Empresses have to go Fisting up the place. Hehe, fisting. _The Iron Paladin thought to himself, getting his feminine act as a guy ready with the make-up.

"Um, excuse me, are you Chung?" The Princess walked over to the long haired man and greeted him. She outstretched her arm in a friendly manner, hoping for a handshake.

"Yes I am. And in a few years, maybe that hand of yours might grab something else I have." Chung smirked at the blonde chick, looking down between his legs.

"Oh dear! How rude of you say such a thing! I'm regretting this already!" She smacked the Iron Paladin upside the head with her purse. She scoffed and walked away before he could say anything else. She headed into her dressing room where she was supposed to get ready.

"Women are always playing hard to get huh Raven?" Chung glanced to the Reckless Fist beside him. "As the Guardian of Hamel I must protect those close to me and penetrate any walls in my way with my cannon." The Iron Paladin took careful attention between the girl's legs as she walked away into her own dressing chambers, his own "cannon" thumping with excitement.

"Chung, I don't know man. Ever since you claimed Eve, you've been a total Infinity Sword when it came to well...everything. And don't even make a joke about me saying 'came'." The Reckless Fist responded to the cocky Iron Paladin, who was still drooling after seeing the girl.

"Well after our dual comedy act I'm bound to show her just how powerful my Gigantic Impact is in the hotel." Chung dismissed Raven as he and his comedy partner finished dressing up.

"Keep in mind, Chung. I'm the same class as you, so don't take all my jokes!" Lachette growled to the still smirking Iron Paladin as they walked onto the stage. Lights shone on them as they picked up their microphones. She signaled for the man to go first.

"Alright then Lachette." Chung acknowledged her, finding out her name backstage before the show started, and cleared his throat. "First I feel as I should reveal my regular combo. First I reload my cannon with all the balls it can keep from within. Next I harden myself by guarding using my gigantic weapon. Finally I aim swiftly and unload all over the enemy with my Siege. Any proof you guys can find you can take a confession from Eve." The Iron Paladin smirked with confidence, eyes staring at the flushed and unamused Code Nemesis.

"Wait, you're starting us off with a sexual joke?! How pathetic you are. I doubt your Lunatic Blow can do anything to anyone's defenses. In fact, you should be ashamed to speak of such things. Has your mother not taught you any manners?" Lachette responded back, making the act turn into a conversation between the two once again.

"Maybe she did maybe she didn't. What mattered is that I'm Strong Willed enough to keep going even if the defenses aren't broken at first. Who knows? Maybe in the process I could demolish the land with my Lunatic Blows, or in this case...perhaps the bed that we may sleep in." Completely oblivious to the audience, Chung attempts to make a smooth move to Lachette.

"Er...are you flirting with me...? It's not going to work, stop trying with your Veteran Techniques. They may work on others, but I am an Iron Princess. I may be a princess, but NEVER forget the Iron at the beginning or my Iron Howling will cause Pandemonium to your mind" Lachette growled back to the perverted boy.

"Yes...you do cause Pandemonium to my mind Princess. You just send me into a Lunatic Fury. I...I don't know if I would suddenly..." He pounced in the air and aimed for Lachette. "LEAP ATTACK AT YOU AND SUDDENLY BURST INSIDE YOU!" Chung declared, meanwhile the rest of the audience gasped in surprise (save for the Infinity Sword and Reckless Fist, who were too busy taking photographic evidence with their phones to blackmail the Iron Paladin later).

"AH! C-CHUNG!" Lachette was slammed into the floor by his heavy artillery. She was pinned to the floor with her hands above her head. "LET ME GO OR ELSE I WILL CAUSE YOU PAIN OF CALADBOLG! I DEMAND IT BEFORE I MAKE YOU LOSE YOUR STRONG WILL!" She screamed and struggled helplessly under the Iron Paladin's tight grip.

"Oh I'll cause you Iron Howling alright. Just hope Caladbolg's Pain isn't inside you my sweet."

"Chung..." Eve, the Code Nemesis aka Chung's girlfriend, stood up from her seat and walked with cold menace up to the stage (all the while smacking Elsword and Raven away into their respective lovers with a kick..we all know where). "Get. Off. That. Bitch."

_SMACK! _ A slap so powerful it sent the mighty Paladin veering out the window. Eve then promptly chased after the pervert.

Lachette got up and dusted herself off before once again regaining control of her mic. "It's times like this when having a girlfriend pays off for other people, you know?" She yelled into the microphone. "Anyways, since we are missing the other person, I guess we are done here. I'll be taking care of that Infinity Sword in the back for making goofy faces while I was presenting..." She gently placed the mic on it's stand and loaded her Destroyer, then aiming it at the Elsword. Raven was seen running away screaming "EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!" and bursting out the door. Elsword put his hands up in defeat and sweatdropped.

"H-hey, Lachette, it was a joke, c'mon don't be li-"

"LUNATIC FURY!"

"Aw shi-" _THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! _ Hell we all knew where this is going.

"Rena...next time can someone sensible handle the next act?" Aisha pleaded.

"We'll try, maybe even I'll go..."

* * *

**Shadic: Anyways, this one was finished last minute. But I think an okay job of countering Fire this chapter.**

**Fire: -Was too busy being stuck in a hotel and watching Code Geass and Cowboy Bebop to work on this most of the week- **

**Shadic: Indeed. God I need to publish some personal stories soon to satisfy my fangir- fans needs, you know? By the way, why don't we ever keep the Elgang's reactions in the Author's Note?**

**Raven: Because you and Fire are lazy-asses when it comes to this.**

**Elsword: Why am I always getting hurt? -waterfall tears-**

**Aisha: Because you're a pervert like Chung.**

**Eve: -still chasing Chung-**

**Chung: -still running-**

**Rena: -facepalm- Yeah, we need, uh, less guys that are perverted...**

**Fire: Anyway when I actually get back from the hotel, I'll probably go work on closing up that poll and seeing which job class Aisha shall be. In the meantime have to think up ideas for chapter 2 of Flightless Archangel XD!**

**Shadic: -cough-**

**Both: Be sure to keep in touch until next Saturday for the next chapter! Good bye!**


	4. Night Watcher

**Shadic: Welcome back to Late Night Elsword! Today we have another girl.**

**Fire: Yep this time it's Rena.**

**Shadic: Just like we said, updates every saturday. (Psh yeah right)**

**Fire: Even though we only started working on this particular chapter today. This chapter we're doing Night Watcher, so we have Rena and Chloe with us today! Now Shadic which one is clean and dirty and who are we controlling?**

**Shadic: I am dirty. So I am Chloe, enjoy!**

**Fire: Yeah I'm Rena this time around.**

**Shadic: Also, sorry for the lack of updating. In fact, I don't know why we didn't, but some PMs from you guys made us feel guilty, so here you go.**

**Fire: You can just say that we (me especially) were really, really lazy in updating this due to other stuff. I just got no excuse since I played Elsword and focused on my stories during the 2 week break.**

_**Classes:**_

_**Rena: Night Watcher (Clean)**_

_**Chloe: Night Watcher (Dirty)**_

_**Elsword: Rune Slayer**_

_**Aisha: Elemental Master**_

_**Raven: Veteran Commander**_

_**Eve: Code Nemesis**_

_**Chung: Deadly Chaser**_

_**Elsa: Saber Knight**_

* * *

_**Night Watcher's Act**_

"I can't believe I actually invited you to do this together with me Chloe." Rena sighed and glanced at the dark-skinned elf beside her on-stage. After the previous act, the green Night Watcher hoped that this time they can finally get through a comedy routine without embarrassment from anyone or destroying the site to the ground.

"Well, I don't know why you find it so hard to believe. But hey, I'm here to make things a bit more...interesting is how I'll put it so you don't think of any ideas" The Pink-haired Dark Elf smirked at the now puzzled Blonde-haired Night Watcher.

"Oh please your jokes are as dark as your skin, don't you have any decently as an elf not to ruin the minds of these humans with those dirty comments of yours? My friends are here too!" Rena pointed to the Elgang sitting near the front (coincidentally, once again), tapping the microphone to make sure it works.

"Please, we all know your serious expression would serve no purpose for humor. If I wasn't here, then no entertainment would be provided by such a light-hearted Elf" Chloe leaned back on the wall and looked at the Elgang with one eye open. Elsword was busy staring at her bust, with Aisha readying her staff to smack him with. Raven kept his focus on the light elf, while Chung was still recovering from the previous act, his ear being grabbed by Eve.

"Yes then, ahem!" The green elf cleared her throat, finally confirming that the mic is functioning and started the comedy routine. "Anyway what YOU need Chloe is a natural Hunter's Ability, both in combat and in stand ups such as this."

"At least I've mastered the Evoking of opponents, unlike you who just swings your boobs in front of them to make them swoon; I actually use my skills to fight, not strip-tease" Chloe grabbed her mic and returned the fire.

"At least I can care for and train all of my comrades far better than yours. When's the last time you ever won against me and my Erendil Blade, along with my Sharpened Arrows." She countered back, fidgeting with her bow and sword in hand.

"Ah, but have you not taken into mind that I don't need soldiers to beat your entire army. One Fatality and all of your soldiers were wiped from the face of this Earth." Chloe rubbed her two blades softly against each other, sharpening both at the same time.

"Regular soldiers maybe but what about a one on one fight me and you. If I recall correctly my one blade can overtake both of yours because I actually Plan my Blows Prior the actual slashes and power struggles." As Rena shot back with her counterargument, soft wooden noises barely traveled the air as Aisha kept whacking the perverted Rune Slayer right at his...ahem Runes.

"We have never actually had a proper fight, and don't expect me to start one in front of many. But, I do have something else in mind~ And it does include Multiple Stingers to your weak points" Chloe smirked as she twirled one blade and leaned against the mic.

"OOOOHHHH!" The audience ooh'ed. As Elsword tried really, REALLY hard to keep it in his pants, Rena started her counter against Chloe.

"You better not, we already had enough of that that when Chung performed his act." The green Night Watcher glared at the blonde Pika boy, his hair cut by Eve in rage, and continued back to Chloe. "You might get a big dose of Karma if you try it here!"

"You are just jumping to conclusions, my dear sweet Rena. You won't have a choice once I use a Trapping Arrow and I use Vital Point Piercing enough that your Traps will Explode." Chloe stared back at the emotionless Night Watcher. Raven sighed and pulled out a camera, preparing to unzip his pants later in the bedroom once he got a few good shots.

"Then I'll just Reflect the arrows with my Kicks and Call upon the sacred Elf Guardian with my voice of Ruin! I'd like to see you get through me if I resist long enough." The green elf flicked her hair, as if saying "Oh yeah, try to top that bitch!". Eve on the other hand merely clapped as the audience ahh'd.

"Quite the contrary, you won't be able to resist my Furious Engage, then you will be shooting out Delayed shots all over my body~" Chloe smirked and tied her hair tighter while Rena's facial expression changed from smirking to shocked.

"For the last time, my Gliding Strike's many traps will protect me from any tricks you handle. Anything else you have to say before we sign off for today?" Rena finished her arguments for today and turned to the obviously non-subtle dark elf for any last words.

"Nothing to say. Just...TO DO!" She pounced on Rena who stumbled backwards in surprise. The curtains immediately closed and Raven hissed. "WHO'S CONTROLLING THOSE CURTAINS! OPEN THEM UP!" The Rune Slayer yelled at Aisha once again hit him upside the head. Chung refrained from saying anything as to avoid Eve's punishment.

"G-GAH CHLOE! GET YOUR EXPLOSIONS OUT OF MY TRAPS!" Rena cried desperately from beyond the curtains, their shadows moving vigorously and squirting sounds piercing through the air as they hit the curtain. All of the men (and some women) immediately spurted blood from their noses.

RING! RING! Elsword picked up the phone. "Elsa...hi."

"How's the stand-up comedy this week? You said Rena is up today, so things should be going nice and clean right?"

"Well..." The Rune Slayer hung up, too busy nosebleeding to care.

"E-Elsword! What's happening!?" The Saber Knight called to Elsword, only realizing that he already hung up. She slammed the phone down. "Dammit can't they stand ONE NIGHT without being all perverted!?"

"Mmm, you know you like my touch~" Everyone heard Chloe's voice and soft moaning from Rena. A standing ovation was given and all the Men cheered for an encore.

* * *

**Shadic: Yeah, ehehe, about updating every Saturday...**

**Fire: Well we just got lazy. I mean Shadic has Not Just a Dream working on while I had Flightless Archangel and Aisha's Diary going on. Not to mention that we both play on Elsword really, REALLY often. Sorry if we neglected this story long enough.**

**Shadic: I mean, honestly, this chapter took us 30 minutes for the whole thing. XD**

**Fire: We should get the next chapter up by this saturday...if I'm not busy watching Attack on Titan to care XD**

**Both: See you next chapter! It's VP ;D (Mario: FUCK YES!)**


	5. Void Princess

**Shadic: Welcome back to another episode of Late Night Elsword. I'm your host, Shadic! Well, more of a writer...**

**Fire: And I'm the other one, Mario. To be honest I was looking forward to this chapter, VOID PRINCESS TIME XD!**

**Shadic: Oh dear, everyone...prepare your anus'. Fire's going in deep.**

**Fire: So we have Speka and Aisha for today. Since I'm the dirty one this week I'm obviously taking Aisha ;3**

* * *

_**Classes**_

_**Aisha - Dirty VP (Batty)**_

_**Speka - Clean VP (Witch)**_

_**Rena - Wind Sneaker**_

_**Elsword - Infinity Sword**_

_**Raven - Reckless Fist**_

_**Chung Seiker - Deadly Chaser**_

_**Eve - Code Nemesis**_

_**Ara Haan - Yama Raja**_

_**Elsa - Saber Knight**_

* * *

_**Void Princess' Act**_

"Oh...Oh Angkor not there! You're just so cuuute!" Aisha glomped her devil bat familiar on-stage. She and her other Void Princess friend, Speka (her "mentor"), are up on stage the next night. It took a LONG time to get all the...white stuff out of the set from before. Meanwhile in the audience Elsword's yapping at his "Conwell" to stop moving, Raven comforted the poor elf who lost her virginity from the aforementioned act, Elsa smacked her younger brother to be quiet, and Chung, Eve, and Ara merely compared smexy their classes looked.

"-cough- Um, Aisha honey...I think we are going soon, so please, behave yourself..." The VP wearing a full witch set advised to the VP wearing a skimpy two piece bat suit (courtesy of the previously mentioned perverted bat). Blood was, of course, pouring out of Elsword's nose (and any unlucky fellow who the Infinity Sword happened to spot eyeing Aisha) while his sister continuously tried to plug it up and smack him at the same time.

"A-Ah right!" Aisha slowly relieved Angkor, her bat, from her grasp and levitated her axe-like staff towards her for support. Once she got a firm grip, the batty Void Princess held it tight and rested her chin on the top (contrary to popular belief the axe part doesn't hurt Aisha). "Here, why don't you start us off Speka? But remember to take it easy at first, keep on rolling once they got the hang of it." She handed the mic to the witch Void Princess.

"Ah, thank you. So I suppose I'm supposed to tell jokes." She pulled out a book that looked like it belonged to a certain Elemental Master in the audience. Noah immediately shot a fireball, but Speka block it with her axe. "Well, let's see here. Apparently this is Noah's diary. Here is- ohoho, what's this? _Dear Diary, today my Endless Desire for the Intake of Vital Lord Knight's Mana was finally satisfied_. Oh dear..." She closed the book and placed it on the stool meant to be sat on.

_And now we all have the cold thought that somewhere, Vital is masturbating to Noah. _Aisha shuddered, worried that the Lord Knight might have a poster of Noah or worse...her. She shook her head and commented with Speka. "I wonder what other dirty little secrets she has." The mischievous bat girl opened the book and flipped through the pages (much to the chagrin of a flustered Elemental Master barging towards the stage). "_Diary, please help me! Destructive Lord Knight kept me in a tight bondage shaped like a circle! I-It's so tight...I think I might. KYAAHH! HIS...HIS HELL STONE! IT CUT THROUGH ME WITH HIS WHITE PLASMA AND CAUSED ME TO SPEW OUT MY DARK WHITE CLOUD!" _The batty Void Princess smirked and continued. "My My, Noah. I never knew you were such a diiiiirrrrty girl!" She teased, a ringing sound playing through the "i" and "r".

"Oh dear, please excuse me. Does anyone have a sickness bag I could borrow? My stomach can't tolerate this type of word choice." Speka got on her knees in front of Aisha and bent onto the floor. "Let my breathing not turn to phantom. Urgh..." She covered her mouth and Elsword immediately ran onto the stage (controlling his raging Conwell in the process) and handed her a bag, his pants. Speka excused herself and went backstage, leaving her little Angkor perched atop the mic. Raven nodded and comforted the elf who was still crying her heart out over the size of Chloe's Melons.

"DONT TAKE A HUGE DROP FROM HELL WHILE YOU'RE THERE SPEKA!" Aisha yelled at the witch Void Princess backstage, referring to her vomiting. The others however...felt as though the latter really needs to take a dump. "Now then..." She yanked Speka's Angkor ("Anger") and her own bat and glomped them together. "Oooohh you two Petite Angry bats are just sooo cuuute!" The batty Void Princess hugged the bats against her chest, making her boobs bigger than they actually are (and Rena more tears since now Aisha's bust is even BIGGER than Chloe's!).

A loud moan was heard from backstage. Speka apparently had limited management of her 'Mana'. "Kyaaaa~" A soft moan-like noise was heard, but it was actually the witch Void Princess releasing her toxins in Harmony of her Body and Spirit. The blood poured out even faster and more white "balls" were passed around to plug the noses.

"Oho! I think she Aged a bit back there. I wonder if...one of our members went back there and helped lose her virginity." Aisha pondered, teasingly keeping the diary out of reach from Noah. Meanwhile in the audience Elsa paled. Not because Elsword was missing but also ARA!

"ELSWORD! YOU DUAL-WIELDING BA-"

"KYAAAHH THAT CONWELL, ELSWORD!" Ara interrupted Elsa's thought, immediately followed up with a...sucking sound.

"Heh I guess the Yama Raja signed a Contract and a Death warrant from the Shadows." Aisha punned, finally giving Noah her diary back (but not before adding a sticky surprise). She then Sprinted over to the back to get in on some of the action. "Goddammit Elsword! First Speka is drenched in your Dark Cloud and now Ara! This time I'm here so Screw me like a Gust!" The skimpy-wearing two piece wearing Void Princess offered herself to Elsword.

"YOU...YOU..." Elsa and Eve on the other hand promptly entered backstage as well (the latter probably to give Elsword an even more lucky night). Chung and Raven on the other hand...

"Hey Raven?" The Deadly Chaser nudged the Reckless Fist as everyone else either scrambled in the chaos or flipped over their seats laughing at the insanity.

"Yeah?" The Reckless Fist continued stroking the elven woman's hair and turned to him.

"You wanna go join in?" The assassin smirked and nudged the robotic-armed man.

"Sure, hang on, hey Rena, lets go" He nudged the girl to get up.

"I guess make-up sex is better than none at all" Rena compromised, following the two.

"Well, let's end this in a nice way, huh? I hope you enjoyed yourselves. EXTREME BLADE!" A mysterious white-coated man grabbed the mic and uttered before slicing and dicing the place to bits, with the Elgang's clothing flying everywhere.

"NAKED PARTY!" Aisha screamed before everyone decided to go "Fuck it" and joined in.

* * *

**Shadic: Well, SURPRISE BUTT SEX ORGY MUCH FIRE?!**

**Fire: Hey! I wanted to give them a taste of Not Just a Dream XD! Plus this IS Void Princess, aka my favorite class. So I had to make it...memorable.**

**Shadic: Of course, you just want to put me through hell while they wait for me to update it. I also gave him the attitude of Cloaked in Black.**

**Fire: Don't go all Archangel on me you flightless person, otherwise I'll sent you a Goodbye Message.**

**Shadic: You just pulled a Shad with that terrible pun. **

**Fire: So did you XD! Anyway see you next week for the next character/class!**


	6. Blade Master

**Shadic: Well it's Saturday, and we all know what that means!**

**Fire: Dat's right it's time for Raven! The first one we're doing is the very respectful and thrustful Blade Master.**

**Shadic: 'Respect' -coughs- And thrustful is right -looks at skill note-**

**Fire: Alright then we have two Ravens, Raven and Edan. However for the dirty and clean, the dirty BM is in Awakening or Raven's Rage while the clean BM is normal.**

**Shadic: So my dirty BM is in Raven's Rage, while Fire's clean Edan is not. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Classes:**

**Raven: Dirty BM (Raven's Rage)**

**Edan: Clean BM (Regular)**

**Elsword: Lord Knight (the student watching his masters; Destructive since Vital's too busy crying in bed forever alone)**

**Aisha: Void Princess (Who's giving everybody in the Elgang some sexy competition)**

**Rena: Wind Sneaker (Whose sexy feet the BM has experienced)**

**Eve: Code Empress (whose servant, Ophelia, stays the fuck away from the BMs' Nasod Arms)**

**Chung Seiker: Tactical Trooper (Who is learning how to be good in bed)**

**Ara Haan: Sakra Devanam (Who is the practice doll for the Blade Master)**

**Elsa: Saber Knight (Who watches her brother train to be like her from someone who's different)**

**Lime: Wind Sneaker (Edan's current girlfriend, Speka was his first before she brutally dumped his sorry ass, watching him epicly fail)**

_**Blade Master's Act**_

"God damn it. WHO PUT THE SALT IN MY OVERCOAT!" A tall, tan man wearing a black undershirt threw off his coat into the audience. Squealing fangirls caught it and ripped to shreds, each wanting a piece of the Blade Master.

"Heh, Heh." Edan snickered in the background, juggling a hidden bottle of salt on his gloves. Now with his plan in motion, the fangirl's distractions on the more famous Blade Master, Raven, will allow him to crack even more jokes (and possibly eggs).

"Ugh! God. The nerve of some people. EDAN I SWEAR TO EFFIN' GOD IF IT WAS YOU I WILL TELL EVERYONE ABOUT YOUR FIRST TIME WITH LIME!" The Raging Blade Master was always infuriated if even one thing was wrong, somewhat like an OCD disorder. He grabbed his di- er, mic and sat down, awaiting the Blood Colonel's arrival.

"Oh come on why would you assume it was me?" The Colonel appeared from backstage and stood beside Raven, the audience nearly blinded by the former's glistening red coat (a wet red coat...I wonder where he got the color from...we can always ask Lime anyway in about a week). He jabbed a finger, Phoenix Wright style, at the red-head watching them _too _intently as if he was waiting for them to _do _something. "Elsword's the one who has the container."

"Eh?" The Lord Knight lazily looked down at his pant pocket (Did Edan just...yeah) and pulled out the aforementioned salt, driving Raven into a frenzy. "SHIT!"

"OHHHH YOU GON DIE NOW! YOU MAY BE MY STUDENT BUT I SHOW NO MERCY!" Raven pulled out his caw- I mean Blade, pointing it inches away from the crimson teen's mouth, and was preparing to thrust (don't deny it fangirls, you know you want it to happen) when Rena shouted from beside the red-head. "RAVEN JUST DO YOUR DAMN ACT! IT WAS EDAN! LOOK AT THE BLOOD MARKS!" She pointed to the Red Stained marks on the bottle of salt Elsword held, who's clearly wearing clean metallic gloves. Raven sighed and sheathed his long sword once more, much to his student's relief. "Well I suppose you can start Edan, I'm not too familiar on how this works." He slowly and hesitantly gave his NPC counterpart the mic, hoping that he can grip it hard enough to not drop it like a bar of soap.

"Okay, ahem." The Blood Colonel cleared his throat, silently fistpumping that he got away scot-free from the prank, and started the routine. "I suppose I should start with this video we found on the internet." Edan pulled out a laptop (meanwhile a certain red-headed female spouted curses at him for stealing the piece of technology) and went on ElTube. "So uh...what the hell is this?"

"_Alright! LET'S GO! YATATATATATATATATATA!" A video of four Ravens, one of them a certain armored black-haired individual, running over everything in their path across Elrios played on the laptop._

"Anyway this title, Burning Rush across the world. I suppose after all this, they still didn't burn whenever they rush quickly huh?" Edan joked.

"Hey...isn't that..." Two other Raven's stood up from the audience and were seen running away, crying. The third Raven, however, was already on the stage next to Edan. He gripped his hard blade and was about to unleash his fury, when he remembered that Rena said no sex tonight if he gets mad (Ah the old threaten and reward method). He sighed and picked up his mic, starting off his rant.

"Well, let me tell you something. I WOULD beat the (nose)blood out of you, but there's two things. 1. You're a blood colonel, and 2. Wind Sneaker said no sex tonight if I did. So instead, I'll give you some tips for Lime." The bustier Wind Sneaker (Rena) was about to get up, but was pushed back down by Destructive Knight. "Shhh, I neeeed to take notes" He whispered, pulling out a notepad from Aisha's skimpy skirt he kept hidden, getting slapped by the purplenette hard in the process.

"ANYWAYS, you gotta start slow with your Shadow piercings, unless you have Experienced Thrusting. Or if they still have that Wonder Wall, I'd recommend a Hypersonic Stab or an Earth Breaker." Rena was seen blushing madly, and Edan simply smirked at the remark the Ravi- I mean Raging Raven.

"Well then later I'd have to clean up the mess, which is what my sword does for me with it's Bloody Accel!" The Blood Colonel demonstrated by showing off a full bottle of mayo (or is it really?) and smashed the glass on the ground. He then yelled out the attack name while holding the sword he made a contract with. "BLOODY ACCEL!" Immediately the white stuff drew away from the floor and levitated in mid-air. As Edan expected, the mayonnaise drew closer and closer to the sword.

"Is mayonnaise an instrument?" The Tactical Trooper stood up and innocently raised his hand, only to be shot (or rather slapped) down by his Empress girlfriend.

"Yes...Yes...IT'S WORKING! IT'S WORKING!" Edan screamed with glee, as if re-enacting a certain creation scenario in literature.

What he didn't expect is that the mayo went to the wrong sword.

"GAH!" Much to the Blood Colonel's surprise, the white stuff stuck to Raven's more personal "sword".

"Gah! Grrr, well, I'll let it slide. Hey Rena! Come clean this off for me will you? It's a bit sticky, so don't have too much!" He smirked as a certain Elf in the audience cursed under her breath, the audience (especially Elsword and Chung) getting their phones ready to capture the action. He grabbed his mic once more, this time more forcibly as if he's holding his own... "Well, let's continue. Edan, I heard you and Lime don't experiment enough in your bedroom and it ends up with you escaping with evacuating. Try this out, because whenever I do it to Rena, it sends Shockwaves of pleasure to ripple through her sexy body. First you gotta start with 3 quick thrusts, then you gotta give her the good stuff, by that I mean some Giga Driving with Geysers included. Don't go Berserk with your Blade, it may cause an unexpected Seven Burst. Finally, finish it all off with one Finishing Slash and keep doing this to Master your Blade." Raven leaned back onto the wall and smirked while Rena blushed even more and the audience went into a fit of laughter.

"Hmph don't you Taunt me Blade Master." Edan prepared his counterargument as Raven started teabagging his Core, imagining it as Rena. "Unlike you I'm actually careful as I Mastered by Blade. I don't Cut any Tendons because my Trained Body allows Lime to take it all in!" He lost focus of his previously clean image, his statements conflicting with the NPC Wind Sneaker's emotions ("Should I slap him because he's talking about our sex or proud that I'm the only one that can take his Magnum Blaster of mayo?"). "Also since I take my time, I don't finish my session in One Flash like you do. Once the time's right I start with my Sonic Flash and finishing with a Roar of a Fanged Wolf. Overall my Confidence about the Victorious result paid off." The Blood Colonel set down the mic as his bloodied sword agreed (by that I mean he couldn't keep it in it's tip and almost flew from Edan's grip to the aforementioned NPC Elf).

"I'll admit, your Confidence is too high. You need to Refine your Physique. My ability to Power Assualt my partner is far better than yours. In fact I'll prove it right now" Raven jumped down and swiped Rena before she could do anything. He grabbed her and pulled her backstage, with Edan doing the same with Lime. The curtains closed and the audience could hear grunts coming from behind the curtains.

"GODDAMMIT RAVEN LET US JOIN!" Elsword and Chung yelled in unison, ripping each others clothes until they were in their undergarments and headed backstage.

"Y-YOU LITTLE PERVERTED BROTHER!"

"ELBAKA!"

"Tch, Ophelia and Oberon capture the wild Pikachu."

"Yes my Que- Oberon sir?"

"I'm sorry...LETS PERFORM IT AS WELL OPHELIA!"

"Wha-" After that lightning fast exchange, the rest of the Elgang followed the Ravens backstage with some having ulterior motives.

"Ahem, I'm sorry for the show, we hope to see you next week!" A black-haired girl who looked in her 20's spoke into the mic and hopped off stage.

**Fire: Well here's Blade Master's part. When did we start having this ending tradition Shadic?**

**Shadic: Uh, when you decided to ADD IT LAST MINUTE XD**

**Fire: Oh please, everything is funnier when it's unexpected. Isn't that right Raven and Rena?**

**Raven: -still thrusting- What was that?**

**Rena: -moaning-**

**Raven's Core: -thrusting with Raven on Rena's posterior-**

**Shadic: Anyways I'm pretty sure you guys are now going to either mob us/rape us or love us forever.**

**Fire: So um...find us next Saturday to see who's next. In the meantime Attack on Titan time!**


	7. Rune Slayer and Infinity Sword

**Shadic: So um, news, Ara's cancelled, since we know squat about her...**

**Fire: Yeah we prefer actually squatting about her rather than knowing squat. So we're revisiting the other characters first, specifically Elsword.**

**Shadic: Here we present: THE PLAYER IS AND THE DERPY RS! **

**Fire: This will be interesting since I'll be the playah Infinity Sword (who I've been playing as the past few days nonstop, hence why I didn't update any of my stories recently) while Shady boy here is the derpity derp derp Rune Slayer. With two skill trees (both versions) in hand, this would be...rather fun to try out.**

**Both: Enjoy! (This time I warned Fire to not go TOO crazy)**

* * *

_**Classes**_

_**Dirty Elsword - Infinity Sword (22)**_

_**Clean Elsword - Rune Slayer (22) **_

_**Aisha - Dimension Witch (21)**_

_**Rena - Grand Archer (23)**_

_**Raven - Blade Master (25)**_

_**Eve - Code Nemesis (21) **_

_**Chung - Iron Paladin (22)**_

_**Ara Haan - Yama Raja (dat fanservice) (24)**_

_**Elsa - Saber Knight (25) **_

* * *

_**Rune & Infinity's Act**_

"Yeah, Yeah I'll get those Conwell sticks out of your ass after this. Okay later Vital." A crimson spiky haired teen dressed in a tank-top and a sword-like skirt with a black and red theme nodded and ended the call with his "annoying sissy of a brother". _Man why the hell did we have to take over for today? _The irritated young man, Infinity Sword, muttered to himself sighing in disbelief once more at the task he and his other twin brother, Rune Slayer, were forced to do. Thanks to the former's prank, the two of them have to take over for Vital Knight in their "stupid stand-up comedy" routine. So far their last routines wound up becoming...interesting but they were determined to end the night on a clean note (Infinity on the other hand says otherwise).

"Would you quit complaining about why we are here and just work with me? I don't want to be here either. So let's make these people laugh then we can leave and go back to that game of Brawl." Another crimson-haired boy, similar to the previous, wearing a small tank top that did not reach his stomach (Sushi fangirl nosebleeds unite!), and a pair of white pants that were baggy (which can...accidentally fall off for more blood). He twirled the mic in his hand as the two prepared to start the act.

"Just don't freeze up your so-called Iron Body during our act, otherwise we'll act like a BL pairing with you as the feminine one. But don't worry, your fangirls wouldn't mind would they?" Infinity started the act, materializing a similar microphone from Conwell on his hand (yes the spirit of Conwell's wish was to one day become a late night comedy host).

"Whatever you say. Just don't go all haywire and start Cutting up the Place in Rage like a certain RAVEN DOES WITH HIS ARMOR!" The boy glared at a certain armor-cloaked man in the audience, raving with all the ladies he possibly can. The man smirked and pinned his robotic arm at the Rune Slayer from a distance.

"Woah there don't get your Fist Exploding anywhere, or anyone, yet! I mean sheesh we barely even started and you can't even calm down your flame-engulfed nips!" The blood red eyed Infinity countered with a smile, silently thanking the Archangel from above, against the crimson eyed Rune.

"Hey hey, I mean no harm…You Cruel Slayer. Gosh, no need to be such a Harsh Chaser on all the gory-loving ruby ladies and assume all of these things. Well, so many people complain about me and runes. I have one thing to say. THESE RUNES ARE MY BABIES AND NO ONE WILL TAKE THEM AWAY FROM ME!" The Rune Slayer immediately summoned 3 runes, all different elements, Fire, Ice, and a combination, and he slowly cradled them in his arms. He kissed each, burning and giving him frostbite, though the RS looked up at the horrified audience with a drunken smile.

"Yo calm down little Kitty or else your small "Slash" might Rise up unexpectedly and evolve into a Storm of Blades full of clear stuff." The Infinity Sword teased his derpy brother when he noticed the RS's pants become baggier than usual.

"Well, wait...are you checking me out? Didn't know you Rolled that way bro. NO RUNE! I'M BUSY! SHUSH!" The hallucinating Rune Slayer slapped his Rune, burning his hand. He gained a few more awkward glances, including from his girlfriend, the Dimension Witch.

"Y'know if you had a Powerful Mind, the RS I know wouldn't get high for THIS long! Instead your Chain of thought was interrupted by my own Power to stay sober." He sighed at Rune's stupidity, going out of his way to wink at the available Yama Raja black-haired girl (much to his Sis's disapproving glare).

"I apologize, they just...never mind. None of you will get it. And I heard you and Conwell gave you a Lightning Step and the Mind of the Fighter after some tea and crumpets, no? It's important to be able to Compact Counter and get close to your weapon for MAXIMUM CANNON-NESS!" The Rune Slayer was rambling at this point, not knowing what he was saying. 5 certain black-haired men in the audience laughed as their arms clapped.

"Well keep those Runes to yourself Rune Slayer! Don't Enchant or Fire up your Sword any further or else there'd be a Splash Explosion everywhere!" The IS advised. "Just Enhance those Fireballs you call runes so Luna Blades and Phoenix Talons don't go everywhere like Blast from a .44 Magnum." He continued against the Knight of Runes, suddenly having the thought that a blonde assassin somewhere is watching him while the black-haired men once again applauded.

"Hmph, really straining to let out the Maelstorm of puns in a Rage? At least my Sword isn't a Phantom like yours." The Rune Slayer lifted his blade and pointed it at the smirking Sword Summoner. "My friend, who's an Amateur, taught me all the tricks, and with the help of Rebellielious, I'm able to overcome any Blast of Swords, any Final Strikes, or any Mirages, which may or may not Sting after use." The before-cocky Crow Knight now readied his blade as the two began to duel in front of everyone.

SMACK! CRACK! Immediately Eve and similar-looking silver-haired woman went up on stage to "calm down" the two red-headed idiots. By calming down, I mean Eve piercing Infinity with many spears while the other woman emotionlessly downed Rune with a kick to the childhood.

"Eheh...see you all next week!" Rena grabbed the mic and bid the audience adew, the four onstage in a one-sided brawl in favor of the girls.

* * *

**Shadic: Well, this is a nice way of ending things -cough- FIRE -cough cough-**

**Fire: Hey I actually thought up this ending! And...the other various references to El-Players out there.**

**Shadic: I was flattered when you used my terrible nips line and credited me with the Archangel. I almost fainted XD**

**Fire: Okay then...anyway hopefully my next updated story would take sooner than the next chapter of this.**

**Both: See you guys next week!**


	8. Code Nemsis and Battle Seraph

**Shadic: SO HERE WE ARE WITH ANOTHER DELAYED UPDATE XD**

**Fire: Oh boy! This time I actually wrote my preview story (which I'm still working on btw) and played on Elsword exclusively on my LK.**

**Shadic: Dedication like your VC for Flightless Archangel. Anywho we are back to Eve, since we did put a small preview in the last chapter.**

**Fire: If having the Eves beating the shit out of the Elswords count anyway.**

**Shadic: Yeah yeah. The new system is mainly puns and jokes, with occasional crude humor. Tell us what you think of it! Enjoy!**

_**~Classes~**_

_**Elsword: Infinity Sword**_

_**Aisha: Void Princess**_

_**Rena: Wind Sneaker**_

_**Raven: Veteran Commander**_

_**Eve - Code Battle Seraph**_

_**Eve - Code Nemesis**_

_**Chung - Deadly Chaser**_

* * *

_**Code Nemesis and Battle Seraph's Act**_

"El Crystal Spectrum, Power Off Mode!" The Seraph shut off her codes of battle and picked up the microphone. This week was her and Nemesis' turn, since making too many cameo appearances made the audience want more of their show.

"Dimension Link Guardian!" Nemesis clapped her hands twice and summoned a black and white Nasod in a bodybuilder-like physique. She commanded it to get down on the floor in order to use it as a chair for the Mistress of Destruction to rest upon. While others in the audience may have been confused or even appalled by this slave like behavior, the black skin-tight wearing Nasod Queen simply smirked on how high her "throne" sits above everyone else. "Seraph, when shall we start?" She asks at the subject beneath her, an identical model similar to hers except bathed in an angelic white suit with longer and smoother silver hair than hers.

"According to this instruction sheet I acquired after "talking" to a Paladin, there are some rules we must establish." The Angelic Queen cleared her throat and held up the paper. "One: We are not allowed to interact with each other in any way except with words. Two. We can not bring others onto the stage. And three. Anything goes." The Queen sat upon her trusted white drone, Remy. "Seems simple enough. You may take the honors, sister".

"Very well, I believe that some of us may have broken those rules and learned them the hard way." The Destruction Queen darkly chuckled as somewhere out there in the world, several people are rolling on their beds weeping at their trauma. "Regardless of whatever terms the humans must establish I have a Mind Powerful and logical enough not to risk any being of my sanity to make any sort of decision I may regret later on."

"Okay okay, we understand you are a Queen, and you have a Throne, but is that throne powerful enough to withstand any Sweeping or Rolling someone could do?" The Seraph kept her monotone voice and face while some people in the audience chuckled. It WAS a warm-up, after all.

"It is indeed powerful and Almighty, unlike a Thousand of your Starring fans. How about getting that so-called Advanced model of your system's Reactor of the El Energy checked up in order to stay in top condition." Nemesis yawned and summoned an iron-like churro, eating it on-stage while waiting for Seraph's response.

"Easy, I don't like to be stirred when the use of weaponry isn't allowed. If I could, you know very well my Induction mode combined with Giga Stream would wreck you and you would turn into an Aura of Metal Dust or, if you're lucky, some Iron Scraps." The emotionless face made it look like she was frowning, though it was still hard to tell.

"Ha! Is that even a threat?" She mocked the stoic girl with a Highly Powered Electrical Electron ball playing on her hands. "Careful what you say little miss "Angel". I might send my Blader Linked in another Dimension to blast you away with a Gigantic Stream of lasers, leaving you in a measly Ray of Particles. I'm sorry did that Flare up your Photons?" Nemesis continued the (dark comedy) insult, staying true to her being the dark path of Eve.

"Remind me again why we are arguing. Isn't this supposed to be funny? Funny like your taste in men?" The Battle Seraph sipped a cup of tea that had appeared out of thin air as her poker face showed little sign of curving upwards.

"What's wrong? Hornets Sting your nest?" Nemesis mocked back. "I'll have you know that a certain blonde-haired Deadly Messenger loves my Nasod Weapons and machinery, which are far superior to yours. Then again, I kind of doubt someone like you would fall for a guy like him. I mean after all, your Heart must be SO Energetic right now!" She smirked in defiance more in a sarcastic tone.

"Haha, I'm not amused at your silly behavior. Why did you choose to be a Nemesis to my Hyper Optical Research? IIt could've benefitted your well-being, and you could've even….TASER!" The Queen took careful aim quickly and shot the Nemesis right in her Throne, instantly freezing her in place.

_Tap! Tap! _ The Nemesis appeared from behind the Battle Seraph and spooked her, causing her to (disbelievingly) fall over in "surprise". "I bet you liked my Cloaking ability, it's another reason why my Steps are so Elegant and graceful." She revealed, the dummy on the throne (with the very pissed off Dimension Link Guardian disappearing muttering robot talk with himself) fading into blue and white and vanished, as if the Photons within it only give you enough time to Blink or miss it.

"That is enough! I may not care about your other shenanigans, but just being nerfed to the fetishes of male players is unacceptable!" The Seraph rose above the audience after successfully Tazing the TRUE Code Nemesis and prepared her ultimate attack. "PSYCHIC ARTILLERY!" The audience gasped as the Nemesis absorbed the attack with an Atomic Shield. "ENERGY BURST!" A burst of energy sprung forth from her hands and the stage collapsed on the poor Nemesis, whom Moby and Remy were desperately trying to heal.

Nemesis' drones Encouraged their Aura onto the black wearing Nasod Queen, Converting their Energy to aid her recovery and bring her back to normal. "Tch now look what you did! That giant Impact Exploded the entire set! AGAIN! NOW HOW THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO FIND ANOTHER SET WITHOUT THE OWNERS COWERING IN FEAR OF US!" She lost her temper and cursed at the Battle Seraph beside her as a strange, almost Happy looking, flying petite blue cat soared off into the distance.

A loud thunderous voice was heard booming the words "LUNATIC SCUD!" but two certain Blonde-haired boys managed to tackle the Eves before anything went wrong. "NEMESIS STOP!"

"BAD BATTLE SERAPH!" The two pairs fell onto the floor, with the ones underneath relieved of their energy. One of them, the assassin picked up his girlfriend bridal style (the Nemesis pouted and shouting swear words every 2 seconds at him) and walked out with a straight face, as if sending the Nemesis a Special Delivery back to her house. The other, geared with Archangel wings and hair that made the Birdie Brigader jealous, picked up the Seraph with his Destroyer and they flew off into the sunset.

* * *

**Shadic:Oh dear. The delay on this one. Sorry guys! **

**Fire: Well you see School started for me last week so any updates on my part, LNE and my new Code Knight story included, will be even less frequent (if that's even possible XD).**

**Shadic: The same goes for me, although I am starting more stories. I promise to you all my goal is to update at least twice weekly, since soon there will be around 7 to update frequently. ;D**

**Fire: As for me...well fans of my stories won't be so lucky! If I feel like it, I'll probably manage probably 1 story update a week.**

**Both: See you guys next week for sure!**


	9. Authors' Filler

**Shadic: So Fire has no idea. It's been awhile, eh? Well, I present to you, A FILLER -shot-**

**But really, enjoy this youtube video and more to come as we go! :D**

** ww watch?v=f-i6EypVs7c**

**Shadic out!**


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